The long-awaited summer season is afoot.
All these scenarios have a great deal in common from sun to fun to food.
The history of the yellow condiment dates way back to ancient India and Mesopotamia around 3000 B.C.
Photos: The brands. Design: Eat This, Not That!
But, it has also become fully engrained in contemporary American culture.
Some options go overboard with the tanginess while others remain too plain and bland.
This inevitably includes a zippy yellow mustard which I picked up for just 60 cents.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
On the plate, it doesn’t look terribly thick.
But, it also doesn’t produce a watery ring around its edges.
The taste:Its appearance tricks you into thinking it’s sturdier than it is.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
The look:Neck in neck with Walmart’s.
The plastic containers are even the exact same shape and size.
If I were to remove the labels there would be no way of knowing which is which!
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
However, even with this win, it still shares that strange synthetic taste that plagued its top competitor.
Even after my efforts, it still came out clumpy and sporting a darker hue with brown flecks throughout.
The taste:The bottle claims that this mustard has an “award-winning taste.”
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1lVlhlHDiWScnkMNOzsmEkK6-w9vFPcP0?usp=sharing
Frankly, though, I just don’t see it.
You would think that with that extra sugar and spice, it would be flavorful and balanced.
But, instead, it’s extraordinarily acidic and sour to the point where I almost puckered my lips.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
That, paired with the thicker consistency, made Sir Kensington’s a royal letdown.
But, I figured that was a taste test for another day.
The look:A deeper color than most, closer to a Dijon rather than a yellow mustard.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
It’s much darker than its bright bottle would lead you to believe.
The taste:The initial smell is similar to deviled eggsvinegary and sharp.
The actual flavor, however, is much more toned down and washed out.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
It stays at around the same taste level throughout the entire experiencewhich was low.
I kept waiting for a kick from the seeds or turmeric, but it never came.
Straddling the line between good and bad, it quickly landed in the middle of the rankings.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
Unlike the chain’s Good & Gather mustard, this one doesn’t claim to be organic or fancy.
The look:More of a muted yellow, but sleek and aestheticfitting for a Target product.
Its squeeze bottle is less attractive, however, on the same creativity level as Kroger and Walmart’s.
Photo: Megan Hageman, Eat This, Not That!
The taste:Respectable with a bit more zip than most.
In terms of texture, the mustard is thinner than I would prefer.
Now, over 170 years later, it stands as one of the top mustard brands in the country.
As such, its inventory goes well beyond classic yellow mustard.
Seasoned varieties like Chili Dog and The Works Chicago mustard are available.
Blends such as Bourbon, Craft Beer, and Carolina BBQ mustard are also up for grabs.
The mustard itself is the brightest one yet with just the right viscosity.
Luckily though, the flavor isn’t quite as pungent as the smell.
It’s smooth, enjoyable, and definitely mildjust as it’s advertised.
Plus, I certainly want to experiment with some of the brand’s other more eccentric mustard mashups.
The look:A stereotypical mustard look in a shade of sunflower yellow.
For example, it has a matte rather than a shiny finish.
The taste:Tasty with a semi-sweet tang.
It’s an American favorite for a reason and has that certainje ne sais quoithat makes it nostalgic.
Each taste is rich and not overly spicedalthough, I do appreciate the inclusion of garlic powder.
Overall though, you’ve got to love the brand’s consistency, quality flavor, and vast availability.
Heinz
I like to call Heinz the king of condiments.
Instead, it keeps things simple with just a spicy brown, organic, andstandard yellow mustard.
I grabbed a bottle of the latter for $2.19.
The look:A bright, almost highlighter-like shade of yellow.
Neither has many flaws, and I don’t think you could go wrong with either.
But, Heinz just offers more zest and has a distinguished pep that you want from a yellow mustard.
When you master your craft, though, I suppose there’s no need to diversify.
So, I was anxious to see if this brand could put its money where its mustard is.
There are 14 different options in the Koops' lineup from horseradish to honey Dijon to stone ground.
I picked up a 12-ounce bottle for $1.34 at my nearest Walmart.
But, Koops' surprised me on all fronts.
