Is there a more tried-and-true, quick-and-easy dinner thanfrozen pizza?
In my house, it’s a dinnertime savior.
No dithering about where to order it, no waiting for soggy, room-temperature pizza delivery.
Photos: Trader Joe’s. Design: Eat This, Not That!
Nope, when it’s time to binge-watch your latest fancy, it’s frozen pizza all the way.
But frozen pizza doesn’t have to be the boring, old grocery store version.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to work alone.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
Here, I’ve ranked the top eight from worst to best.
I first tried deep-fried pizza in Naples and have rarely seen it stateside.
I almost always put TJ’s pesto on my frozen pizzas.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
Then we tasted it, and everything went sideways.
The crust hit peak golden brown, the cheese burbled nicely, and the pools of pesto tempted.
The taste:Every piece went straight to the “spit bucket” after one bite.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
It was unanimous that it smelled far better than it tasted.
“I’m not wasting calories on this,” one taster proclaimed.
I thought it tasted greasy and generally not good.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
As the biggest salt bomb of the batch, the spit bucket was where it belonged.
This pie cost $6.49.
They weren’t distributed well, but that’s not a huge deal.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
Now, that’s a nice story, but let’s be real.
It’s a frozen pizza that will never taste like it came out of a wood-burning oven.
Which is OK if it’s still good, but TJ’s missed the mark here.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
Like the roasted garlic variety, this pie cost $5.99.
There’s no charring or leoparding.
Naples style or otherwise, it was skimpy on the cheese and didn’t look appealing.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
All in all, it’s a bit sad.
The Taste:Things didn’t improve with eating.
Overall, the general response was confusion about why it’s called Naples style.
Dana McMahan for Eat This, Not That!
The wafting smoky-sweet aroma was enticing coming out of the oven, and we were excited to try it.
This pie cost $5.49.
The look:This puppy was loaded with toppings.
They were a little all over the place, literally.
What you could see of the crust seemed decently crisp and golden.
The crust was sturdy and crisp, and the cheese distribution was generous.
This one was improved with the addition of TJ’s ranch dressing.
Our merry band of tasters are convinced it’s a DiGiorno-made private label.
The consensus was that this frozen pizza compared closest to what you’d get with a delivery pie.
We’re moving into the winner zone here.
So far, so good.
The taste:Don’t let a basic appearance fool you.
This one is a crowd-pleaser.
The box refers to these as a “pizza-like savory dish.”
They’re both on a lovely, flaky braided crust.
No, but that’s OK!
They still taste really good.
thin, flaky, buttery crusts.
Could the toppings be more evenly distributed, and do they slide off easily?
Yeah, a little.
But they’re still cute for entertaining.
The taste:These tartes are the only ones I’d serve at any party not involving paper plates.
Not the most filling dish, and my only complaint is that I wouldn’t want to share them.
Bonus: They’re small enough to go in a toaster oven.
This variety cost $4.49.
The look:In a word?
Why are small foods so cute?
These are happy little individual pizzas (although adults are gonna want more than one!).
Comments included great texture, delicious, slightly sweet sauce, and the best pizza flavor.
Trader Joe’s nailed it with these mini pizzasespecially when you dip them in TJ’s ranch!
