Chocolate is edible proof that not all things are created equal.
Not every chocolatier is doing it right.
Then I tasted and ranked them in descending order, from my least favorite to the best.
Photos: The brands. Design: Eat This, Not That!
Did you ever have those wax lips as a kid?
Now imagine if those were made of bulk-produced chocolate, and that’s what we’re talking about here.
The taste:Basic.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
Ultimately, it’s a bag of commodity chocolates.
They’re … fine.
I don’t want food ingredients in my treats.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
I want, you know, food.
The look:The bar looks familiar, a flat rectangle of dark chocolate.
The taste:Also familiar.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
This 3.1-ounce package offerseight mini barsmade of 72% cacao dark chocolate for $3.99.
The look:The manufacturer has stamped its name and “Belgium 1926” with nearly every bite.
And the cute little mini-bars are wrapped like individual gold bricks.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
In that pretty packaging they have to be good, right?
Is it rich and smooth like the package promises?
Meh, it’s a bit one-note, but we’re on the right track, at least.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
They’re perfectly pleasant, basic chocolates.
And you want the70% dark chocolate barto be a winner based on the cheerful wrapper alone.
This bar cost $5.79.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
The look:Bright blue and red wrapper!
The taste:Don’t let the circus-like appearance fool you;it’s not bad!
The flavor mostly lives up to the nose, but with a decidedly more bitter note than the others.
Dana McMahan/Eat This, Not That!
It tastes a bit more suitable for baking than just eating.
Still, a solid, tasty chocolate bar.
The taste:This lovely bar lives up to the promise of affordable luxury.
Dana McMahan/Eat This, Not That!
It smells like you want to melt it and sip it by the thick and creamy cup.
(The vibe makes me think of the baking spice notes in Abuelita Mexican hot chocolate tablets!)
And it only gets better when you taste this bar in all its silky decadence.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
Still, there are two brands that I enjoyed even more.
This bar cost $3.19.
The look:Inside the busy packaging you’ll find the chocolate bar stamped with elephants.
Photo: Dana McMahan, Eat This, Not That!
The taste:Really good!
A hint of cherry trails the intense chocolate aroma.
Very nice, indeed.
This bar cost $3.99.
The look:This brand doubles down on the planet-and-human-friendly message with the earthy brown, plain paper wrapper.
Its smiley logo is stamped on each segment.
The taste:This clearly isn’t assembly-line chocolate.
Made with only three, high-quality ingredients,this one beats the others by a mile.
As complex as a great coffee on the nose, it keeps getting better, all smoky and sultry.
